Friday, 26 January 2007

If this doesn't account to anything

so for this day, I'm certainly not pleased. I know I'm going to report about JPL later but I'd want to divert my attention to one thing: self-infliction.

Read my previous entry. You'll notice that I was talking to somebody who wanted to have his mean self back.

That same person did the unthinkable. He slashed his wrists.

Last Sunday at Avilon, I noticed him with bandages on his left wrist. I cringed inside, thinking that "kung ano ang itinalino nya, yun naman ang kanyang ikina-unstable nya".

So many people began to wonder why this suddenly-suicidal (as he said to me one day) bookish student became very elusive.

I then said to a friend of mine, Danilo, "He is obviously depressed."

Danilo responded, "Ambabaw nga ng problema, tas gagawa-gawa sya ng ganyan?!?"

What Dan doesn't know is that he is part of the problem Dheck (yes folks, he's the suicidal guy here) is having. Dan is in his cynical self when it comes to Dheck.

Now, the other day, I was told by a classmate that Dheck was seeking help from Kim. Dan was like, "Ano? Para syang bata!"

Going back to the sight of his bandaged wrist, it brought me to where I first had a vivid picture of what self-mutilation/self-infliction: Grade School days.

I remembered my classmates, batchmates---even my closest friends having slashed arms, wrists, everywhere they could slash on. I felt so sorry for them that they experienced it. I, myself, had been through it, and that will never happen again.

As of this writing, I am cringing inside to the point that I can't blame those who slash their wrists. Never have I felt so grim about this.

So, going back to the present.

It might seem to be a subtle take on releasing yourself from pain but, there are people who think that slashing is a form of cowardice. Whatever. Whatever those guys think, it just means one thing: those idiots have no idea what depressed people are feeling.

And as for Dheck, go on and suffer, feel the pain. Go numb. Then what's next for you? I've been telling you to stand up, you just keep on ranting that you can't cos you've changed.